Self-Talk

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What is Self-Talk?

P.s. If you would like to share this post on Pinterest, there are perfect pinnable images at the bottom of the post.

We all have that inner voice that engages in a daily non-stop monologue throughout the day and night. This inner monologue that can be cheerful, supportive and positive or negative, self-defeating and sad is referred to as Self-Talk.

Our self-talk is our internal chatter. It is influenced by our subconscious mind, “it combines conscious thoughts with unconscious beliefs and biases” (Psychology Today).

It is an effective way for the brain to interpret and process our daily experiences– since we are always talking to ourselves.

Our self-talk reveals our thoughts, beliefs, questions, ideas and often control or determine our moods at any given time.

Understanding self-talk

Take a minute and think about what you’ve said to yourself today or what you are saying right now (that little persistent voice in your head). Was it critical? Is it kind? helpful? Crippling? Paralyzing? Does it make you feel happy about yourself? or it makes you cringe and want to hide? How did you feel after you engaged in this inner discussion?

Your thoughts are the source of your emotions and mood. The conversations you have with yourself can be destructive or beneficial. They influence how you feel about yourself and how you respond to events in your life.

Our self-talk can enhance our performance or wreck it.

Self-talk is helpful when it is positive, talking down fears and boosting confidence.

Self-talk can also be critical, a little criticism is helpful and needed as it helps us refine our work.

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Self-talk can also unhelpful, irrationally critical, negative, fearful ad increasing our self-doubt.

How does self-talk work?

Positive self-talk might come naturally to some, but most people need to learn how to cultivate positive thoughts and let go of the negative ones. With practice, it can become more natural to think good thoughts rather than bad ones.

Positive self-talk

Positive self-talk is supportive and affirming. Example:

“I’m going to speak up in the meeting today because I have something important to contribute.”

Rumination: Negative self-talk

Rumination is the flip side of positive self-talk. It happens when you replay upsetting or cringe-worthy thoughts or events over and over again in your head. Thinking through a problem can be useful, but if you spend a lot of time ruminating, small issues tend to snowball. Constant rumination can make you more likely to experience depression or anxiety.

This statement shows negative thoughts can grow and become self-defeating:

“I can’t do this… I always fail at everything. There’s no point trying as trying will only prove the truth– that I am a failure…”

Language matters

Researchers have found that it’s not just about what you say to yourself, it’s also the language that you use to say it. One 2014 report describes the role of language in self-talk. What’s the key? When practising self-talk, don’t refer to yourself in the first person, such as “I” or “me.” Instead, refer to yourself in the third person, using “he” or “she,” or refer to yourself by name.

Brené Brown, professor at the University of Houston Graduate College and motivational speaker, refers to the negative voices in her head as her gremlins. By giving her negative thoughts a name, she’s both stepping away from them and poking fun at them.

The report goes on to say that using the third person in self-talk can help you step back and think more objectively about your response and emotions, whether you’re thinking about a past event or looking into the future. It can also help you reduce stress and anxiety.

How to Get Started With Recognizing Your Persistent Self-talk

Spend a few days listening closely to your inner dialogues. Are you supportive of yourself? Are you critical or negative? Would you be comfortable saying those thoughts and words to a loved one? Are common threads or themes repeated? Write down important or frequent negative thoughts.

Conclusion:

This is meant to be an introductory post to self-talk. In some later posts, I’ll delve deeply into negative self-talk as one of the sneaky habits that sabotage our personal growth.

Let’s Chat: What is your self-talk like?

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Kimberly
Kimberly
11 months ago

Thanks for sharing this! Nice collage of motivational pictures as well.

Jenn - One Hoppy Momma
Jenn - One Hoppy Momma
11 months ago

Interesting because I didn’t realize that everything you say to yourself is self talk and being positive is key.

Adventures with Shelby
Adventures with Shelby
11 months ago

It’s definitely important to keep a positive mindset!!

Janay Kris
Janay Kris
11 months ago

I really enjoyed reading this post! Being positive is so important!

Emilly
Emilly
11 months ago

I talk to myself all day! Lol love this post

Katie
11 months ago

Awesome insight, I am reading alot about this and everything is mindset! Thanks for sharing!

Adventures with Shelby
Adventures with Shelby
11 months ago

It’s definitely important to keep a positive mindset!!

Janay Kris
Janay Kris
11 months ago

I really enjoyed reading this post! Being positive is so important!

Danielle Lynne
11 months ago

Great piece. I think everyone needs a bit of self-talk.

Joanna
11 months ago

It’s very interesting to refer as your inner thoughts, especially the negative ones, in the third person. I remember someone once telling me to look at the problems in life from somewhere above, and analyse them in the third person. It made a lot of sense.

Sweet World
Sweet World
11 months ago

Self-talk and help us get over our fears or give in to them. We need to try and build a positive mindset!

Sanjota Purohit
11 months ago

Self talk gives you confidence, relives from stress and helps to maintain peaceful mind.

Sanjota Purohit
2 months ago

Self talk gives you confidence, relives from stress and helps to maintain peaceful mind.

Philomath
Philomath
11 months ago

This is really nice post, I always use for the benefit of my life and getting to know myself better and share ideas and more positive things.

Jenn - One Hoppy Momma
Jenn - One Hoppy Momma
11 months ago

Interesting because I didn’t realize that everything you say to yourself is self talk and being positive is key.

Sweet World
Sweet World
11 months ago

Self-talk and help us get over our fears or give in to them. We need to try and build a positive mindset!

trackback
1 month ago

[…] got lucky…,” These thoughts and beliefs may not be true, But this habit of self-doubt, negative self talk, constantly bad-mouthing ourselves and limiting beliefs feels convincing enough for us to think […]

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